


Rebuilding

by AnnoraRutherford



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cullen Rutherford Fluff, Cullen Rutherford/Female Lavellan - Freeform, Cullen and Eira, Dragon Age - Freeform, Dragon Age Inquisition, Eira Lavellan - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 10:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13292583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnoraRutherford/pseuds/AnnoraRutherford
Summary: Shortly after the destruction of Haven, Josephine hosts a ceremony in memory of those lost. Cullen begins to head back to his quarters and stumbles upon Eira, silent and statuesque. Upon confronting her uncomfortable stillness he comes to discover what Haven really did to her and tries to offer her some peace.There are some typos and formatting issues because I write on Google Docs and then transfer to Tumblr then to here, so... things get a little messy!





	1. Still as Stone

Cullen stepped onto the bridge outside of the solarium and closed his eyes as he took in the cold snowy night air. The memorial for those lost at Haven was beautiful, but hurried and emotionally draining for everyone that attended. While everyone filed down to the tavern to celebrate the lives of those lost, Cullen decided to seek the silence of his office. He deeply inhaled the breeze allowing the scent of campfire to fill his lungs. As he released the tenuous air from his body he opened his eyes, on the barracks his eyes were greeted with her figure, standing, observing the soldiers down below.

What little of the moon’s light there was illuminated her black hair creating the nights sky amongst her tresses. Constellations danced in the wave of her locks. Just standing there Eira managed to skew the grace of the moon, and she had unintentionally stolen all of the beauty of the night and taken it for herself. If only for tonight, she had become the moon.

From where he stood Cullen could see the weight in her body. Eira stood tall and strong, unmoving - a statue.

Cullen shifted slowly toward the door of his office, watching her carefully as he walked. His armor rustled louder than usual as it broke the silence, however, Eira remained fixed. Only her chest rising and falling showed sign of life. The loud whine of old hinges echoed as he opened the door, Eira still did not move - attention unwavering from the camps beneath Skyhold. Cullen stepped through the doorway, closing out the cold behind him. He leaned hands pressed against the door, eyes married to the floor. A nagging feeling dragged his head over his shoulder, the other door. The only thing separating him from the moon. Without his consent his body turned and headed to the second door. Pulling it open as it moaned he grew increasingly nervous.

There she stood. Stoick and solid. Arms crossed. As Cullen stood in the doorway he watched Eira, tempted to talk to her, but unsure if she was tempted the same. Dead air filled the space between the two now. Not uncomfortable, but most definitely unwanted by Cullen. He’d grown accustomed to Eira’s friendly greetings, the two had grown close in their time at Haven, perhaps foolishly he’d allowed himself to want this woman in his life.

“Josephine held a lovely service tonight.” Eira’s voice drifted through the wind wrapping itself around Cullen. The sweet sound of her voice brought comfort to him, comfort he’d not experienced in a long time. Yet, her gaze never met his.

“She’s an excellent woman.” Cullen began to move toward Eira, making sure to not offend her with his invasion of her space “I am pleased we were able to have the memorial, the families needed it.”

“As did you, Commander.”

“I could say the same to you.” He reached her, leaning on the wall next to her, overlooking the troops now, too.

The bitter wind again became quiet between the Commander and his Inquisitor. Eira had still not allowed herself to move. Haven weighed heavily on everyone’s mind, but Cullen had noticed that Eira had not smiled since, had not spoken to anyone unless necessary, she retired to her quarters as soon as she could, merely waiting out dinner only to stare at her plate and walk away. Cullen scanned Eira as she stood before him, even with her arms crossed, he saw her shake.

“What happened at Haven has been hard for everyone here.” Cullen removed his arms from the barrack wall in front of them turning to face Eira, “How are you holding up.”

“I’m fine. Yourself?” Once again, their conversation continued without Eira even making eye contact.

“While I find your stoicism impressive, I also find it irritating that you refuse to even look at me. You’re hiding something. So, I’m going to ask you again, Inquisitor and I expect you to look at me. How are you holding up?”

Eira turned to face Cullen, upon meeting his eyes he watched her stillness dissolve around her. Her eyes welled, her chest rose and fell with haste, and she fell into his embrace.

“I’m terrified, Cullen.” Cullen rested his head on hers, closing his eyes, choking back his own tears, seeing one of the strongest women he knew break was unbearable, “I can’t eat or sleep. Every time I shut my eyes I see the flames in the blackness consuming Haven. I hear the screams of mothers as they watch their children fall to Corypheus’ wrath. I hear the cries of toddlers and their parents sacrifice themselves to save their babes. I hear the metal of swords as they pierced our men’s armor. Feel the heat of the fire that stole everything those people had. But most of all, I hear him. I can’t… his voice… won’t leave me.”

Cullen held Eira tightly as she sobbed in his arms, her body wracking with pain - pain he had grown to know well. Eira’s hand grasped at his mantle, holding and pulling him closer to her as she rested her head on his chest.

“Eira-”

“Make it stop… please.” She begged him, as much as he wanted to Cullen knew there was nothing he could do for her.

“I… Can’t. I’m so sorry, Eira. Sometimes you can do everything right and still walk away having lost. You did what you could,” Cullen leaned back to cup Eira’s face in his hand, “you saved many lives. You did something no one else could, you stood against Corypheus. This isn’t your fault.”

“The anchor is on my hand! He came fo-”

“He came to become a god! This is not your fault, Eira.”

The two stood on the barracks in embrace, the silence now was that only of comfort and desire for company.

“I have something that might help you feel better, if only for a moment.” Cullen spoke gently into Eira’s ear and she met his eye with curiosity, “When my mother was upset my father would… um…” Cullen stuttered, embarrassed upon only now realizing the intimacy this held, “he would rub her back… if you’d like I-”

“I would love that, Cullen.”


	2. Touching the Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen has offered some peace to Eira and it's time to see if he's able to find it himself.
> 
> There will be some typos and format issues in this piece of writing as I write on Google Docs, transfer to Tumblr, and then to AO3.

Her body in front of his, back exposed, bare smooth skin covers her solid muscles beneath; muscles asking only for the relief of Cullen’s careful, but strong touch. As he rolls his thumbs deeper into her flesh, soft moans creep from her body as she blushes under his kneading, tension releases from her body as Cullen rubs and explores her back, slowly - savoring every second he has of her intoxication. He relishes in bringing her a reprieve no one else has - no one else could. Pleasure and pain moves through her body with each movement of Cullen’s broad hands. Her body caving in to the need of only his skin against hers - his hands playing her pleasure like a sweet teasing game, exciting and-

The piercing of whining hinges snapped Cullen back into reality from the momentary dream that had cheated its way into his thoughts. Eira moved through the small tower that separated her quarters from the main hall as Cullen stood in the doorway watching her slowly climb the stairs toward privacy - the most privacy the two have ever had; alone and uninterrupted. He felt his chest tighten, as little as he wanted to admit it, Eira intimidated him. She was more addictive than lyrium, but allowing himself to fall into the addiction she taunted him with gave him more anxiety than he’d felt for some time.

Cullen stepped through the doorway and followed the wooden walkway up to Eira’s quarters. His stomach braided itself with anxiety, excitement, and intoxication - her scent filled the air around him. Pine and lavender with sweet honey and peppermint tea laced the air, enticing him forward despite his trepidation.

Moving into her room Cullen watched as Eira flicked her fingers as she passed the fireplace, sparking warm and orange glow into the room - his body immobile as the creator of his strongest desires; the root of his anxiety, wandered gracefully across the room gathering pillows and blankets, placing them in front of the fire. His stomach danced with the flame and he grew increasingly nervous in her presence.

Eira looked at Cullen as he stood shifting awkwardly by the stairwell.

“Commander, you look ill. Are you alright?” Eira’s voice melted over him, soaking him in her sweet sound.

“I… um…” Cullen felt his hand move to the nape of his neck as his eyes moved from Eira to the fireplace, breaking contact with her, “I have never done anything like this.”

“Cullen, if you’ve changed your mind you can tell me.”

“No!” Cullen erupted louder than he had intended. “That’s not it at all, I’m just finding myself rather nervous.”

Eira beckoned to Cullen with her finger, asking him to meet her by the fireplace silently. She turned her back to him pulling her hair off of her back and around her body, exposing the several buttons that held her dress closed He followed her request, the sound of his armor grating in his ear - ruining whatever intimacy this moment may have held.

“I suppose I never have to worry about you sneaking up on me, do I?” Eira teased giggling as Cullen’s armor marked his every move.

“No, I suppose not.” Cullen gently chuckled as he reached Eira by the fireplace. He leaned in and gently whispered to her, “Perhaps we should sit down.”

“Perhaps you’re right.”

Cullen took Eira’s hand helping guide her down to the nest she had made by the fire. Following her as she sat back to him he reached to undo her buttons as suddenly she leaned forward and turned to slightly face him.

“I should tell you something…” Eira looked down at her hands, “When I was a teenager I was stolen from my clan by a nobleman who made me a slave and I have scars on my back from…” Her voice trailed off as Cullen watched her painful memory flick across her eyes.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of, I’ll be gentle I promise.”

Eira smiled up at Cullen and joyfully turned around once again, exposing the buttons on her dress. Cullen undid them slowly, revealing skin stained with raised map of a whips lashes and dozens of bruises. He traced one of the lash marks with his bare finger, the scar smooth and tough under his touch. Cullen became overwhelmed with the want to kiss her back to try and tell her no matter what scars she had - no matter her past, she was utterly perfect.

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“Not anymore…”

They both fell silent, Cullen reached his hands back to Eira’s body as he began to roll his thumbs across her delicate shoulders. Feeling her muscles release months worth of tension under his touch. Her body moved with his touch, pushing her shoulders into his hands, begging for his deeper caress without words. Cullen abided her demands, pressing firmly as he followed the shape of her spine down to the dimples where her hips met her spine. He spread his hands out keeping his thumbs fixed on Eira’s spine, grabbing at the skin on her hips with the tips of his fingers, her delicate frame consumed by his hands. He followed the curve of her waist up to her ribs, running his fingers over the thin skin covered in bruises from the events at Haven as softly as possible. He continued to follow her figure deeply tracing her shoulder blades as she released a soft whimper.

Cullen quickly pulled his hands back, “Did I hurt you?”

“It’s not your fault, I think my body is just on high alert with the abuse it’s been through recently.”

“I’m sorry - I promise it won’t happen again.”

Cullen again ran his fingers along Eira’s back, only teasing her, barely allowing his skin to touch hers. Her skin excitedly broke out with small bumps under Cullens touch. A smirk crossed his face as he continued to torment her with his tender caress.

“That tickles!” Eira jokingly smacked his hand away from her body. “Stop it!”

Cullen let out a muffled laugh, “Oh, is our Inquisitor ticklish?”

Eira turned over her shoulder with a stern look struggling to stay on her face, “To find out, you risk losing a hand.”

Cullen looked at her for a moment with a smug grin spread across his face, raising his eyebrow, “Is that so?”

“DON’T YOU DARE!”

Cullen leaped quickly pinning Eira to the ground with one hand, with the other he created a claw like shape, threatening to tickle Eira’s ribs. She laughed uncontrollably causing her to let out a solid snort. Her cheeks flushed red as Cullen lost control as well.

“She snorts, too!”

As Cullen teased her, Eira reached up finding one of the soft spots uncovered by Cullen’s armor and shoved her hand to his underarm and pushed her fingers carefully into the nerves causing him to collapse at her side.

“Ah-ha!” Eira sat up and he watched as she went for another strike at tickling him, “The Commander is ticklish, too!”

“I am not!” Cullen fought off her hands as they both laughed at one another, he managed to reach Eira’s ribs in the chaos of flailing limbs and obscene laughter.

“AH! Cullen!”

Once again Cullen flipped his body on top of Eira’s pinning her to the floor, his fingers laced with hers above her head. The two met eyes and Cullen felt a sudden rush through his body as he realized the position they were in. He felt his cheeks rush with blood as Eira smiled up at him, out of breath from laughing.

Images of Eira once again poisoned Cullen’s mind. Her body warm beneath his and she ran her fingers softly through his hair, smiling up at him as she is now. Skin to skin, vulnerable and comforted by one another. Eira stilled his mind, she gave him peace he’d not known until the day he first saw her in Haven. At this moment, in a way, Cullen was thankful for what happened at the conclave, he was blessed to have the prisoner that fell out of the fade be Eira, without the explosion he’d have never known what it felt like to feel silent.

Guilt washed over him as he remembered what Eira had been through, the lives that had been lost, and he selfishly thought about the good that had happened to him.

Cullen stood quickly stumbling back - a moment of peace ruined once again by his stupid thoughts.

“Commander?” Her voice echoed through Cullen as she lay on the floor before him, her face grew concerned, “Are you alright?”

“I should go.” Cullen swiftly moved to the door, leaving Eira behind.

“Cullen!” Her voice followed him, but his shame and pushed him out of the door. Slamming it behind him.

You can’t love her. You can’t…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Annora


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